depopulated:

do you know this man?

Posted in ad-aware by eddie on April 6, 2009

I really still don’t know the marketing strategy behind these “HAY BTW THIS DUMBSHIT’S IQ IS 122! ARE YOU SMARTER THAN THIS DUMBASS?” quiz advertisements.  Are we really all that vain to need to assure ourselves we’re smarter than Simon Cowell? I just picture some nard in Toledo taking 25 minutes from his Excel spreadsheet charting bristles in a hairbrush to answer SAT questions, only to throw his arms up in victory upon completion with the documented proof that yes, an outdated, scientifically inaccurate test of intelligence he found on the Internet proves he is smarter than a celebrity, 94% of whom are COMPLETELY STUPID in the first place.

The banner I found today though put a dark spin on the trend:

What a delightfully average day!

What a delightfully average day!

“WANTED: Positively mediocre looking man in every single way. Must possess strongly middling qualities and a keen desire not to succeed. Baldness preferred, but not required.  Must be willing to have goofy, punchable smile. Will become poster child for the mundane, lightless vortex of American aspiration to become nothing in particular.”

Was this man notified that for thousands of Internet citizens he would become the benchmark for pedestrian?

And who in the hell would want to take this test? At least the nard in Toledo gets five seconds of morbid pleasure before crying into his Dilbert mug. This is a test to prove you’re not below average, meaning your final reaction, at most, is a sigh of relief.

Internet, you win again.

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